An Attorney's Story by Ann Rochelle
I have seen many sides of adoption.
Birth Parents: I have seen the birth mother in tears as she handed me her baby. I have seen the birth mother stoic as she tried not to fall in love with the baby that she gave me to hand to the adoptive parents. I have seen the birth mother muster all of her will power to smilingly give me the baby but I know full-well that the birth mother’s smile will crumple into tears when I leave. I have seen the birth mom know that she could not provide for her child and selflessly relinquish custody. I have seen birth parents who cannot see past their drug addiction or need for the child to be a paycheck cling to the child as a crutch. I have seen birth mothers who have neglected and abused their child.
Adoptive Parents: I have seen adoptive parents hostile and fearful of the birth mother doubting whether she will actually relinquish. I have seen adoptive parents build caring and supportive relationships with the birth parents. I have seen adoptive parents fearful of the role that birth parents will have in their child’s future lives. I have seen the sheer joy of parenthood as I have handed the baby to the adoptive parents. I have seen sheer relief on adoptive parents’ faces as I either hand them the baby or the final decree of adoption. I have seen the grace with which parents have struggled with attachment disorder. I have seen the pain with which parents have struggled with attachment disorder and abandonment issues. I have seen adoptive parents struggle with fertility issues.
Adopted Children: I have seen crying babies. I have seen smiling babies. I have seen adopted children make health and happy bonds. I have seen adoptive kids with attachment disorders. I have seen adoptive kids play soccer, dance, vault and do pikes and twists, draw beautiful pictures, make honor rolls, go off to college, struggle with reading, suffer from low self-esteem, smile with pure joy, attend counseling, have issues with alcohol and drugs, cry, laugh, and love.
Summary: I have four cousins who are adopted. I adopted two girls from China. I helped my niece adopt her daughter. I have easily handled 1,000 adoptions as either a guardian ad litem in a parental termination case, representing birth parents, or representing adoptive parents. There is no one story. There is no one path. We celebrate our children and all their joys and pains. It has been my honor to be part of the adoption process, the children, the birth parents, the adoptive parents.
I have seen many sides of adoption.
Birth Parents: I have seen the birth mother in tears as she handed me her baby. I have seen the birth mother stoic as she tried not to fall in love with the baby that she gave me to hand to the adoptive parents. I have seen the birth mother muster all of her will power to smilingly give me the baby but I know full-well that the birth mother’s smile will crumple into tears when I leave. I have seen the birth mom know that she could not provide for her child and selflessly relinquish custody. I have seen birth parents who cannot see past their drug addiction or need for the child to be a paycheck cling to the child as a crutch. I have seen birth mothers who have neglected and abused their child.
Adoptive Parents: I have seen adoptive parents hostile and fearful of the birth mother doubting whether she will actually relinquish. I have seen adoptive parents build caring and supportive relationships with the birth parents. I have seen adoptive parents fearful of the role that birth parents will have in their child’s future lives. I have seen the sheer joy of parenthood as I have handed the baby to the adoptive parents. I have seen sheer relief on adoptive parents’ faces as I either hand them the baby or the final decree of adoption. I have seen the grace with which parents have struggled with attachment disorder. I have seen the pain with which parents have struggled with attachment disorder and abandonment issues. I have seen adoptive parents struggle with fertility issues.
Adopted Children: I have seen crying babies. I have seen smiling babies. I have seen adopted children make health and happy bonds. I have seen adoptive kids with attachment disorders. I have seen adoptive kids play soccer, dance, vault and do pikes and twists, draw beautiful pictures, make honor rolls, go off to college, struggle with reading, suffer from low self-esteem, smile with pure joy, attend counseling, have issues with alcohol and drugs, cry, laugh, and love.
Summary: I have four cousins who are adopted. I adopted two girls from China. I helped my niece adopt her daughter. I have easily handled 1,000 adoptions as either a guardian ad litem in a parental termination case, representing birth parents, or representing adoptive parents. There is no one story. There is no one path. We celebrate our children and all their joys and pains. It has been my honor to be part of the adoption process, the children, the birth parents, the adoptive parents.